


Six Hundred Years and Counting

by Kaz3313



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, both of the pairings are only mentioned, only mature since sex is mentioned, this is just a silly cute thing tbh, well they're being discussed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaz3313/pseuds/Kaz3313
Summary: The late last true Witch and the ineffable being who play's Her own games have been in a "meeting" (that has no clear sign of stopping) for many centuries. They have lots to chat about. (AKA a collection of Nice and Accurate conversations)





	Six Hundred Years and Counting

It was long ago debated where Agnes Nutter would go in the afterlife. She was a witch after all, the last witch at that, but she never delved into anything "demonic". She saw into the future and cured illnesses with modern day medicine- No demonic intervention not even in the end.

They're was the argument about how she was a murder but while her actions did kill an entire town she was dead before they were. No blood on her hands (or rather dust).

Still the arguments raged on until she requested to speak to God- no not the voice of God. The Angels and Demons laughed at her until God herself requested the meeting too.

That "meeting" had been going on for the past six hundred years and had no sign of stopping.

The old witch chuckles, leaning back in a rocking chair she requested some six hundred years ago. "I won our bet," She says and a light shines on her. This was going to be a fun little chat that could end in The Sound of Music being stuck in her head for three hundred years (give or take) but would be worth it.

"There was no bet, Agnes," The voice of God would be considered booming to anyone else but Agnes believed the word 'booming' should only be saved for being in the middle of an actual explosion.

"My Decedent has gotten with her boyfriend before thy two pinning fools," Agnes states not hiding her smile "Look at them still not able to even hold hands,". She couldn't actually see the two but knowing from there previous interactions they weren't changing any time soon.

"They did hold hands; twice," God says and if she had a tongue she would've clicked it (though the noise was present).

"Ah, such progress," 

"The only reason Anathema and Newt got together is because you wrote in a book they were going to have sex,"

"They did; and I reckon if in a book it said that Angel to get it on he would be on top of that Demon faster than you could say my book's title"

" Some of us have patience,"

"I waited six hundred years!"

"And I've waited six thousand,"

"You’re just mad that I won the bet,"

"There was no bet,"

"I remember a bet,"

"I am God. I don't gamble,"

"You have a deck of cards,"

"Only for demonstration!"

"We've played a couple games,"

"We've never gambled,"

"Yet; Cup of tea?" She waves her hand at the light expectedly. No familiar mug appears in her hand.

"There is no "yet", Agnes,"

"Is there tea?" She could hear a huff before the tea was in her hand. She took a small sip and scrunched her nose. Not only was it luke warm but peppermint. Agnes prefers raspberry. "Someone is a sore loser,"

"I'm not sure nor am a loser. I am God and play my own ineffable game,"

"Then why not go tell Azriphale to get laid? He'll listen to you, even tried to talk with you before,"

"Agnes there is more to love then 'getting laid'. Like longing gazes, saving books from a bomb, driving a Bentley through a highway that is on fire, and dining at the Ritz. That's true love,"

"I think Anathema is soon going to be Anathema Pulsifer," 

"I can, and will, throw you out Agnes. And then you'll have to deal with damnation. There was no bet. And if there was my two are so much in love that they can't even say it and that's better then a stupid "we're about to die let's bang" trope. Crowley stopped time because Azriphale said if he didn't think of something he'd never talk to him again. Did Newt stop time? No, no he didn't,"

Now Agnes would like to say two things but realizes she can think one then say one and God will know both. She's all knowing after all. So she thinks about how even though Newt didn't accomplish such a feat as stopping time he did in fact save the world. He, with his lousy computer skills, stopped nuclear warfare. "If you kick me out then you won't have anyone to talk to? But if that's what you wish cast me down like how ye did with your Fallen Angels," The light of God took it’s leave but Agnes kept a smile on her face.

Fear of God was inevitable. Angel’s feared in fear of falling, human’s in fear of the flames of Hell, and even Demons, with everything already plotted against them, fear what she could still do. Her powers were inconceivable (one particular Angel would say Ineffable but he is, at this moment, trying desperately not to blush as a Demon sits a little closer than a mere friend would) and unlimited. She held fates in her cards and she dealt them out extremely meticulously though others wouldn’t be able to pick up any rhyme or reason. Every being, at some point, feared the unknown. Whether it was a small child afraid of their closet, a man who’d done too much wrong in his life wondering where he’d go, or even the leagues of Angels who had no war (and therefore no plan). God is the embodiment of being unknown.

That being said Agnes Nutter had known every event in her life and beyond. Images of the fake end of the world and technology far ahead of her and much more. She was the closest thing to be all knowing but she even she knew little compared to the Almighty, who was her only company as of a few centuries. But Agnes was content.

And confident.

God would have something more to say to her, eventually (she guessed a day or two was all she’d be able to stay away. Only once had it gotten to a week) For now Agnes was left with horrible tea (at least the cup refilled itself...or perhaps that was worse), a rocking chair, the Original Sound of Music Soundtrack playing on repeat,and her mind.


End file.
